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5 Seemingly Small Acts Emotionally Intelligent People Master

Emotional intelligence is in the little things

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Photo by Caroline Veronez on Unsplash

Ever since Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and science journalist wrote his book about emotional intelligence in 1995, the concept has been widely discussed and applied in multiple areas of life, from business through leadership to basic human behaviour in any interpersonal setup.

To sum it up in one sentence, emotional intelligence is the ability to make emotions work for you, instead of against you. It encompasses the management of your own emotions just as much as observing, understanding and managing the emotions of others by your own behaviour and actions.

The idea gained vast popularity and added another, distinct layer to explain cognitive abilities — claiming that IQ is not the only measure of one’s characteristics in the field of intelligence.

When it comes to emotional intelligence, we talk a lot about empathy, integrity, authenticity, the ability to listen, to give good feedback and to apologise. But it’s vague.

Human interpersonal relationships — be it a romantic relationship, a family setup or a leader-employee hierarchy — are usually vague and very situational. Empathy is great until it turns into people-pleasing. Listening is a great skill if you are not required to express your opinion on a touchy subject. Giving good feedback can be amazing if you are not in a situation where you should just listen.

Emotional intelligence is about integrity and the expression of your true self in an authentic way that makes others feel more comfortable about themselves when they are around you.

It’s hard to master and it’s difficult to practice — but it can be improved, even if you weren’t born with it — unlike IQ which is believed to be a constant regardless of the lexical knowledge and life experience you can amass.

So what is it really about? I collected 5 seemingly tiny acts that are unique to emotionally intelligent people.

You don’t let anyone think you love them more than you do

Do you have friends, potential romantic partners or colleagues who like you more than you like…

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Zita Fontaine
Zita Fontaine

Written by Zita Fontaine

Writer. Dreamer. Hopeless romantic. Newsletter: zita.substack.com Email me: zitafontaine (at) gmail

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