I lost 70+ lbs, it’s great, but it’s not all that glamorous
Writing about weight loss should feel amazing, a real success story of willpower, determination and the power of change. I should be beaming with pride and accomplishment — and some days I am. But if I am honest with myself, writing about weight loss is really difficult — this is why I have been putting it off for so long.
First of all, I feel ashamed admitting my fatness. It’s not easy to talk about it, even when it’s behind me, even when I already learnt the tools and methods that work for me, even when my fat loss journey…
The dynamics of a fatal attraction.
Before it got bad, it was not only good — it was amazing. It was everything I have ever wanted, everything I have ever wished for, and so many things I have never even dreamt to ask for. It was love, pure and raw and earthmoving love — that changes you and changes how you see the world. I loved so fiercely and wildly that I failed to see that behind the mask of this bird with a broken wing whom I wanted to save so much, lied a vulture who was hungry for my soul and energy.
When it…
Personal growth doesn’t have to be a constant internal struggle
Nobody promised it was going to be easy. This life, these challenges, the path to becoming better, more and enough.
The possibilities are endless; and no matter how liberating it might sound, it can also bring you down just by its weight and responsibility. But as much as it isn’t supposed to be easy, it shouldn’t always be hard either. And most importantly, it shouldn’t be us making it more difficult for ourselves.
These days, every single thing is about self-improvement. How to be a better parent, a better partner, a better and more productive businessperson. We want to get…
Losing 70+ lbs taught me about the power of my mind that will come in handy in other areas too
“You put some weight on, love, didn’t you?” The guy I was seeing last January told me this while holding me in his arms. I suppressed my knee-jerk reaction of pulling away and tell him to piss off, because he said it with a sweet, rather an observational tone and because I knew he was right. I was deeply offended, hurt to my core and I felt that my secret was out and there was no reason to deny it or fight it.
I mumbled something, totally embarrassed and devastated, and it didn’t help that he repeated several times that…
What’s for dinner never sounded this promising
I believe in setting realistic expectations for myself. As a mum, it is especially important. I have been telling my kids forever that I am not big on cooking, that if they want real chicken soup or meatballs they should ask grandma — and they did exactly that. …
Body acceptance has to be genuine, and it might mean changing your body before accepting it
Body positivity is one of the greatest terms out there, yet it makes me cringe every time I hear or read about it. It is surely coming from the right place, rooted in the idea that loving yourself is important regardless of the body you live in. Having a healthy relationship with yourself where you don’t equate your worth with the size of your clothes, a number on a scale or other arbitrary figure is something we should be teaching in kindergarten already.
For some, it works really well. I applaud and celebrate people who feel good in their skin…
Calling someone a fat-shamer for losing weight shows clearly what’s wrong with the online world
Today I made a huge mistake. I looked at the responses to my articles (gasp!). It was out of curiosity and boredom, but I shouldn’t have. I should have known better.
I stopped reading comments from my readers a long time ago. I carefully considered the pros and cons, and sadly the counterarguments won, namely, I had had enough of being judged, mocked, trolled for expressing my thoughts. And no amount of praise could even out the negativity I sometimes received.
The mistake today was an honest mistake, but it still rattled me. I was shamed and called a fat-shamer…
It’s not always easy to be single but a bad attitude makes it worse
I used to write a lot about how I felt about being single, how difficult it could be at times, how lonely it got. I also wrote a lot about all the advice out there aimed at single people — even with the best intentions some advice can be really offensive and trite— and how society and our conditioning suggest that while being in a relationship counts as an accomplishment, being single is considered a failure.
Re-reading my articles I also noticed that despite my best effort, I sounded bitter and I had a hard time accepting my relationship status…
Learn to give a lot fewer f*cks so that you can have time and energy for yourself
Self-care and self-love are thrown around as boring, cliché concepts that make you nod and forget about them immediately. Love yourself before you expect others to love you. Make time for your needs. Prioritize yourself, for no one else will do it for you. Yes, we heard it, next, please.
As it happens with a lot of other ideas, tips and life hacks that you come across online, self-care is repeated so much that we get immune to it, acknowledging its benefits without acting upon them, just like we do with exercising, dieting, habit-building, meditation and mindfulness — to name…
How to crush writer’s block, procrastination and expectations
What makes us human? What drives us? What sets us apart from other species? According to some theories, a synthesis of findings of biology, evolution and archaeology, one of the major drivers of human beings has always been creativity.
Creativity, art and self-expression through these have been ingrained deeply in human history. To create is magical,— whether it is about writing, drawing, inventions or figuring out new ways for previously existing methods — and human beings are amazing creators.
But it’s not always easy. To create can be really difficult — and in some cases, we make it even more…
Zita Fontaine
Writer. Dreamer. Hopeless romantic. Newsletter: zita.substack.com Email me: zitafontaine (at) gmail
