I lost 70+ lbs, it’s great, but it’s not all that glamorous

Writing about weight loss should feel amazing, a real success story of willpower, determination and the power of change. I should be beaming with pride and accomplishment — and some days I am. But if I am honest with myself, writing about weight loss is really difficult — this is why I have been putting it off for so long.

First of all, I feel ashamed admitting my fatness. It’s not easy to talk about it, even when it’s behind me, even when I already learnt the tools and methods that work for me, even when my fat loss journey…

The dynamics of a fatal attraction.

Before it got bad, it was not only good — it was amazing. It was everything I have ever wanted, everything I have ever wished for, and so many things I have never even dreamt to ask for. It was love, pure and raw and earthmoving love — that changes you and changes how you see the world. I loved so fiercely and wildly that I failed to see that behind the mask of this bird with a broken wing whom I wanted to save so much, lied a vulture who was hungry for my soul and energy.

When it…

The simple but not easy concept of calorie deficit

After having been struggling for decades with my weight and all the adjacent hardships of lack of mobility, lack of motivation, eating disorders, fatshaming and beauty bias, I lost 70lbs and reached my ideal weight earlier this year. The whole journey was a tough but amazing accomplishment, but it wasn’t as glamorous as it was eye-opening.

Last January, at the age of 42, living a relatively sedentary life and being considered as lazy all my life, I set out on an indefinite journey to lose the extra weight and establish a completely different lifestyle — and it was different from…

Lessons from running a half-marathon in 7 weeks

Around the 11th mile, I hated it all. I was completely exhausted and for no apparent reason, I started sobbing. I had to slow down to the point of walking until I could pull myself together and could continue the run. I still had two more miles to go to finish the half-marathon distance I decided to complete.

It took everything in me to start running again when I didn’t even feel strong enough to walk or crawl. I just wanted to lie down, or go home, or even better, I wanted to magic myself home in a split second…

Change one word and change your whole attitude

In the past eighteen months, I made radical changes in my life — the biggest and most visible one was to lose 70+ lbs, and as a result, becoming a different person. Losing weight and getting fitter is a controversial topic because it is considered to be by some as an expression of fatphobia, a clear sign of lack of self-esteem — instead of a true, life-changing accomplishment.

It’s true, losing weight can lead to unhealthy body image issues, and it’s also true that some people find it easier to blame others for their inability or unwillingness.

Admitting that I…

You might need to trick your brain every now and then

Three months ago I started running — just to give it another try. I have tried it a few times. I managed to motivate myself enough to go on runs for a few weeks or few months, but then it always faded into the background. I never got to call myself a runner. I was someone who went on a few runs.

I have always been fascinated by running, the simplicity and accessibility of it, and I admired people who could get up and go for a run — come rain or shine. I admired how they showed up, how…

Personal growth doesn’t have to be a constant internal struggle

Nobody promised it was going to be easy. This life, these challenges, the path to becoming better, more and enough.

The possibilities are endless; and no matter how liberating it might sound, it can also bring you down just by its weight and responsibility. But as much as it isn’t supposed to be easy, it shouldn’t always be hard either. And most importantly, it shouldn’t be us making it more difficult for ourselves.

These days, every single thing is about self-improvement. How to be a better parent, a better partner, a better and more productive businessperson. We want to get…

Losing 70+ lbs taught me about the power of my mind that will come in handy in other areas too

“You put some weight on, love, didn’t you?” The guy I was seeing last January told me this while holding me in his arms. I suppressed my knee-jerk reaction of pulling away and tell him to piss off, because he said it with a sweet, rather an observational tone and because I knew he was right. I was deeply offended, hurt to my core and I felt that my secret was out and there was no reason to deny it or fight it.

I mumbled something, totally embarrassed and devastated, and it didn’t help that he repeated several times that…

What’s for dinner never sounded this promising

I believe in setting realistic expectations for myself. As a mum, it is especially important. I have been telling my kids forever that I am not big on cooking, that if they want real chicken soup or meatballs they should ask grandma — and they did exactly that. …

Body acceptance has to be genuine, and it might mean changing your body before accepting it

Body positivity is one of the greatest terms out there, yet it makes me cringe every time I hear or read about it. It is surely coming from the right place, rooted in the idea that loving yourself is important regardless of the body you live in. Having a healthy relationship with yourself where you don’t equate your worth with the size of your clothes, a number on a scale or other arbitrary figure is something we should be teaching in kindergarten already.

For some, it works really well. I applaud and celebrate people who feel good in their skin…

Zita Fontaine

Writer. Dreamer. Hopeless romantic. Newsletter: zita.substack.com Email me: zitafontaine (at) gmail

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