I lost 70+ lbs, it’s great, but it’s not all that glamorous

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Writing about weight loss should feel amazing, a real success story of willpower, determination and the power of change. I should be beaming with pride and accomplishment — and some days I am. But if I am honest with myself, writing about weight loss is really difficult — this is why I have been putting it off for so long.

First of all, I feel ashamed admitting my fatness. It’s not easy to talk about it, even when it’s behind me, even when I already learnt the tools and methods that work for me, even when my fat loss journey…


The dynamics of a fatal attraction.

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Before it got bad, it was not only good — it was amazing. It was everything I have ever wanted, everything I have ever wished for, and so many things I have never even dreamt to ask for. It was love, pure and raw and earthmoving love — that changes you and changes how you see the world. I loved so fiercely and wildly that I failed to see that behind the mask of this bird with a broken wing whom I wanted to save so much, lied a vulture who was hungry for my soul and energy.

When it…


No magic pills, no shortcuts, just your own personalised plan that works

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I am kind of ashamed to admit that it took me 30 years to figure out what works for me when it comes to weight loss and weight maintenance. It took me at least a hundred trials and errors — mild success and massive frustration alternating, ruining my body image, slowing down my metabolism and leaving me with a conflicted relationship with food.

I started my first diet when I was 11–12. I was chubby but not particularly fat. It was the early nineties and even without the excessive presence of media, the lack of Instagram celebrities and distorted expectations…


Drama and anxiety can be addictive and self-propagating

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Human beings are so controversial in their emotions and actions that it’s a miracle how we got to the top of the food chain at all. Any other species would act in a logical and natural way — when it comes to survival, feeding, mating or socialising.

Us? Not really.

We glorify the inaccessible. We crave and fight for things that we cannot have. We assign an arbitrary value to useless things that are not necessary for our happiness or survival of any kind. We speed up things that could be handled much slower. We set ambitions so high that…


#1 Love is not a zero-sum game

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There was a time when it took me no time to fall in love. I carelessly walked the tightrope of need and want and desire — the need to be loved, the want to be with someone, the desire for it to last a lifetime. The promises and sweet talk messed with my balance and I was already freefalling, the ground closing in on me, forgetting about the safety net of reality and the parachute of reason, I wanted to fall — and I trusted my love with my life that he would catch me.

I didn’t know what I…


Easy, tiger… can we just please calm down

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When I started writing here two and a half years ago, I used to be very much in the loop with everything that happened on Medium. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The algorithm changes, the new MPP, the roller coaster of drama in writer groups, the plagiarism scandals, the banning of some misogynist authors — you name it.

I was obsessively following everything that happened and I took it personally. I spoke up against misogyny, I supported writers in their battles with other writers, I reported plagiarists stealing my and other writers’ precious work. It was an obsession…


The simple but not easy concept of calorie deficit

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After having been struggling for decades with my weight and all the adjacent hardships of lack of mobility, lack of motivation, eating disorders, fatshaming and beauty bias, I lost 70lbs and reached my ideal weight earlier this year. The whole journey was a tough but amazing accomplishment, but it wasn’t as glamorous as it was eye-opening.

Last January, at the age of 42, living a relatively sedentary life and being considered as lazy all my life, I set out on an indefinite journey to lose the extra weight and establish a completely different lifestyle — and it was different from…


Lessons from running a half-marathon in 7 weeks

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Around the 11th mile, I hated it all. I was completely exhausted and for no apparent reason, I started sobbing. I had to slow down to the point of walking until I could pull myself together and could continue the run. I still had two more miles to go to finish the half-marathon distance I decided to complete.

It took everything in me to start running again when I didn’t even feel strong enough to walk or crawl. I just wanted to lie down, or go home, or even better, I wanted to magic myself home in a split second…


Change one word and change your whole attitude

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In the past eighteen months, I made radical changes in my life — the biggest and most visible one was to lose 70+ lbs, and as a result, becoming a different person. Losing weight and getting fitter is a controversial topic because it is considered to be by some as an expression of fatphobia, a clear sign of lack of self-esteem — instead of a true, life-changing accomplishment.

It’s true, losing weight can lead to unhealthy body image issues, and it’s also true that some people find it easier to blame others for their inability or unwillingness.

Admitting that I…

Zita Fontaine

Writer. Dreamer. Hopeless romantic. Newsletter: zita.substack.com Email me: zitafontaine (at) gmail

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