The dynamics of a fatal attraction.

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Before it got bad, it was not only good — it was amazing. It was everything I have ever wanted, everything I have ever wished for, and so many things I have never even dreamt to ask for. It was love, pure and raw and earthmoving love — that changes you and changes how you see the world. I loved so fiercely and wildly that I failed to see that behind the mask of this bird with a broken wing whom I wanted to save so much, lied a vulture who was hungry for my soul and energy.

When it…

It’s not always easy to be single but a bad attitude makes it worse

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I used to write a lot about how I felt about being single, how difficult it could be at times, how lonely it got. I also wrote a lot about all the advice out there aimed at single people — even with the best intentions some advice can be really offensive and trite— and how society and our conditioning suggest that while being in a relationship counts as an accomplishment, being single is considered a failure.

Re-reading my articles I also noticed that despite my best effort, I sounded bitter and I had a hard time accepting my relationship status…

Learn to give a lot fewer f*cks so that you can have time and energy for yourself

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Self-care and self-love are thrown around as boring, cliché concepts that make you nod and forget about them immediately. Love yourself before you expect others to love you. Make time for your needs. Prioritize yourself, for no one else will do it for you. Yes, we heard it, next, please.

As it happens with a lot of other ideas, tips and life hacks that you come across online, self-care is repeated so much that we get immune to it, acknowledging its benefits without acting upon them, just like we do with exercising, dieting, habit-building, meditation and mindfulness — to name…

How to crush writer’s block, procrastination and expectations

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What makes us human? What drives us? What sets us apart from other species? According to some theories, a synthesis of findings of biology, evolution and archaeology, one of the major drivers of human beings has always been creativity.

Creativity, art and self-expression through these have been ingrained deeply in human history. To create is magical,— whether it is about writing, drawing, inventions or figuring out new ways for previously existing methods — and human beings are amazing creators.

But it’s not always easy. To create can be really difficult — and in some cases, we make it even more…

No, it has nothing to do with willpower or laziness

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Sad, but true that we live in a world, where beautiful means skinny and skinny means beautiful — without considering health, mental health, fitness, strength, happiness or any other factors that should define beauty.

Also sad, and also true that this is nothing new. The concept that beauty means good was also present in ancient times. The ancient Greek term kalokagathia, derived from , refers to beauty being good, noble and virtuous — with a simplified translation, it means what is beautiful is good. …

I lost 70+ lbs, it’s great, but it’s not all that glamorous

One year and a tattoo later — image by author (scroll down for more images)

Writing about weight loss should feel amazing, a real success story of willpower, determination and the power of change. I should be beaming with pride and accomplishment — and some days I am. But if I am honest with myself, writing about weight loss is really difficult — this is why I have been putting it off for so long.

First of all, I feel ashamed admitting my fatness. It’s not easy to talk about it, even when it’s behind me, even when I already learnt the tools and methods that work for me, even when my fat loss journey…

No, it’s not because you are weak or flawed…

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Once upon a time I was so broken that I saw the whole world around me with shattered lenses. As if I got used to being broken and miserable, I was living a life where hurt and abuse was normal, where pain and tears were expected, where my distorted vision of reality became natural. I got used to being mistreated daily, I was conditioned to endure it and as my feeble attempts of rectifying the situation were met with further abusive events, I learnt my place.

I learnt to silence my…

Stanford study explains why and how to battle it

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A year into the pandemic, we have seen a lot of changes in our day-to-day lives and while we might love them or hate them, some things are here to stay. We have seen how business travel can be replaced by online meetings, we know now how a lot of meetings really should have been an email, and it’s clear that remote work has changed the landscape of office work — probably for good.

Whether you are an employee, a creative entrepreneur or a businessperson, you need to get ready to deal with online meetings for the rest of your…

Ignoring toxic traits won’t save you from getting hurt

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There are some things that you need to experience yourself to understand fully. You don’t really get heartbreak until your own heart gets broken. You don’t understand the depths of grief until you lose someone close to you. You won’t understand the crippling effects of depression or anxiety until you experience them firsthand. It’s not that you cannot empathise, it’s that fully grasping how it feels and how it changes you requires that you go through all the emotions related to it.

You might never understand why someone gets into or stays in a toxic relationship, but it happens —…

What to watch out for when buying into a course that sells success

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Writing cannot be taught, it can only be learnt.

If you cast stone it’s pretty probable that it would hit a writer who is offering a course that is supposed to teach you how to make a lot of money writing, how to be a better writer, how to find your target group, build your email list and get the first thousand true fans. Online courses — free or not — are everywhere, tapping into our thirsty minds that crave to become better, wealthier and more successful.

You can find established writers, promising you the secret recipe to their success…

Zita Fontaine

Writer. Dreamer. Hopeless romantic. Newsletter: Email me: zitafontaine (at) gmail

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