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Breaking Up With the Narcissist
The beginning of the end of a toxic relationship
There are only a few breakups that are pretty and agreeable. It’s rare that two people can part with none of them getting hurt, even if they know that they have grown apart. Even if it’s for the better.
Every heartbreak hurts. Even those where you think you weren’t emotionally involved. If you invested your time, energy — it is enough to grieve the end of a relationship.
But breaking up with the narcissist is one of the ugliest things that can ever befall you. It’s unfair. It’s mean. It’s hurtful at best and traumatising at worst.
By the time we broke up, being discarded by a narcissist wasn’t a novelty for me. I didn’t know the term for it yet — my awareness that it was narcissistic abuse came only later — but being left to my own devices, being abandoned in need, being ghosted for days and stonewalled for weeks were part of our regular relationship dynamics.
It’s amazing how the human mind can make peace with the unacceptable in the name of love, in the hope of a better future. We are amazing at making excuses and turning our heads to something that doesn’t fit the narrative we want to tell ourselves.
My narrative was that we had the greatest love you can ever imagine. It had its…
