Discover Rock Bottom to Unearth Some Invaluable Leadership Lessons
When is it time to quit a toxic environment?
It’s been months now. Months of panic attacks, creeping up on me at unexpected times of the day, months of sleepless nights that leave me exhausted and unnecessarily grumpy, months of wondering whether it is the right place for me. As the days go by, the months are just piling up, making it harder to see clearly, making it impossible to define where it started, who is to blame, and what is wrong and right. I feel as if I am in a toxic relationship, losing my sense of self, and my agency, losing sight of my capabilities, and losing confidence. I am losing myself. Some days, I feel I am losing my mind.
With the anxiety comes the depression. With the panic attacks comes an inexplicable apathy, as if I had no more f*cks to give, when everything bothers me, everything upsets the fragile balance.
I read everything about burnout, toxic relationships, abusive behaviour, assertive communication, boundaries and new skills to learn. I read and then I don’t do anything. I know it’s not right; I know I am not well. It’s not the right place for me, this is not where I want to be, and it doesn’t align with my values, vision, and dreams. It’s not for me. Not anymore.