Even if…

Even if I am betrayed
cheated disappointed
a hundred or a thousand times
even if I opened my
heart and let you
in begging not to
break anything

even if you still did it all
breaking and entering
hit and run and
then going MIA

even if I am down on
my knees knocked out by
the weight of all the lost time
broken dreams and
revenge I never got

even then… now…

I refuse to say
it wasn’t worth it
that love and trust
is futile and useless
and that I can do it alone
weathering life
on my own and
embracing loneliness
for life is hard

I am still standing
open and raw
trusting and hoping
and opening my heart
and mind and soul
so someone can come in

I refuse to put up walls
to keep out the good ones
too just because someone evil
had made a mess inside once
I refuse to distrust and
dismiss and disown
everything that is
still to come

even now
after all this
I refuse to stop believing
that it is worth it

It is.

Writer. Dreamer. Hopeless romantic. Newsletter: zita.substack.com Email me: zitafontaine (at) gmail

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