Guys, Please Start to Dress Up for Dates

Sloppy is not sexy and it screams lack of effort

Zita Fontaine

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Photo by Serhiy Hipskyy on Unsplash

I remember quite a few conversations between my parents when I was a kid, that were about what my dad should be wearing. Sometimes it was blunt. Definitely not that one, darling. You are not serious about that green sweater for the theater, are you? Sometimes it was subtler. I am ironing your white shirt right away. I’m wearing the black dress, which jacket should I get for you?

My dad understood the assignment. As he knew he would usually make bad decisions about his outfit — read he would be massively underdressed compared to my mum — he prevented the issue by turning to my mum for advice. It worked, they did not argue about this ever. And they were always dressed up at the same level.

In my eyes, he was always well dressed, having carefully chosen pieces for every occasion. I understood that it was my mum’s doing and I never knew whether it was his lack of affinity, lack of interest or just a longing for comfortable clothes even on special occasions. But my dad made an effort, asked for help and thus avoided conflict and potential embarrassment. I never understood the level of effort he made until I started to go on dates — with men who were consistently underdressed compared to me.

I have always noticed that women (at least those around me) usually make an effort. Taking a shower, washing their hair, and doing their make-up were items on their going-out checklist without a thought. Without these, they would rather cancel or reschedule. On top of this, choosing their clothes carefully is next on the to-do list where clean and ironed clothes are the bare minimum. The extras vary by the person or the occasion — but as a rule of thumb, if it’s a date, you will notice the effort.

No matter if it is a first date where you want to be yourself yet still make a nice first impression or a more elegant occasion where you can show off your high heels… even those women who don’t fit the conventional beauty standards will put in the effort.

I have quite a few male friends who understand the importance of being well-dressed — at work, on a date, or on special occasions. There is a small vanity from their side — that’s a common denominator. Still, also they are…

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Zita Fontaine

Writer. Dreamer. Hopeless romantic. Newsletter: zita.substack.com Email me: zitafontaine (at) gmail