Member-only story
Healing From Trauma Is About Making Room For It In Your Life
You can’t outrun your past
At first, when I was freshly heartbroken, I was clinging to my pain, revelling in it, breathing it in with every shallow breath I took — only to stay alive. Because that pain, no matter how much it was killing me was the only thing I had left of him, of us, of a love that I hoped to last forever.
It’s been two years now that we last had any kind of contact with my ex. It was before he disappeared for good, leaving the country, starting a new life — leaving me behind with a toddler. It was before he started to send me harassing emails, death threats, promising to hunt me down and make my life a living hell — again. It was before he wrote to me never to try to build a name for myself or start a new relationship because he would make sure to humiliate me and ruin me. It was before he sent my nudes to my ex-colleagues, family and friends.
It was after a three-year tumultuous relationship that started out as a love larger than life and ended with me being abused and hurt in every possible way, leaving me with a baby who was never going to know her father.
It was after all the pain and hurt I endured started to overtake my whole life, leaving me weak and helpless, emotionally devastated, physically exhausted and sexually ruined.
