How To Reframe the Negative Experience of Rejection

Know that it’s not a ‘no’; it’s a ‘not yet’

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The hardest thing when dealing with a rejection of any kind is to wrap your head around that you are not good enough, not talented enough, or pretty, thin, sexy, young educated enough — all in all, not enough-enough.

It doesn’t matter how confident and strong and self-sufficient you are — if you care about something, any rejection related to it will hurt.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a personal or professional rejection if it is petty and mean or comes from all the right places, it doesn’t matter what lesson you need to learn, even if it’s there to make you grow, rejection hurts.

There are studies proving that rejection activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain, so when we say it “hurt” it actually really did. It doesn’t matter how many arguments you can back it up with, it doesn’t matter if for the rest of the world it’s a tiny thing — if it hurts you, it hurts. It makes your brain feel the same thing as if someone punched you in the stomach or shut the door on your fingers.

Rejection is not pretty.

For example, I was avoiding online dating for a very long time — not granting the power to anyone to reject me was a good way not to…