Just Stop Looking for It Already!

And other terribly poor advice for single people looking for love

Zita Fontaine
6 min readOct 19, 2022


Photo by Julien L on Unsplash

I hate losing. I know that it’s part of life, but I am the kind of person who just likes to win. I am not even a sore loser, it’s not really that, but winning and accomplishing something is my thing.

Being single to me feels like I am losing.

I hate it.
And I think sometimes it’s pathetic too.
And I hate myself for feeling this way.
And I know that this is counterproductive.
And I know that I need to shift my perspective.

Rationally thinking I know how to reframe it, I know what the right aspect would be.

I understand the benefits of it, hell, I even have a list of it to remind myself sometimes.
I also understand why it is better to be single than be in a bad relationship.

But emotionally… I’ve had enough of it.

So many articles are out there on how to be happy and single or single and happy, how to embrace it, how to use it to your own benefit, and how to enjoy the ride. But I am sick and tired of the tips — the ones I give myself as a reassurance that there is nothing…



Zita Fontaine

Writer. Dreamer. Hopeless romantic. Newsletter: zita.substack.com Email me: zitafontaine (at) gmail