Member-only story
Life Lived One Hour At a Time
When one day seems too much to take in
I am probably overreacting. I am definitely overthinking. I know I am — but I can’t help it. I woke up with raging anxiety and the moment I was conscious I realised I was crying. 5 am, and I’m a mess — this is impossible.
I’m fine. My kids are fine. My parents are fine. Everyone I know is fine. My friends all over the world are fine. I have a job. I can pay the bills. I can pay the rent. I can feed my kids.
Everything is fine — but nothing really is and the reality of the uncertainty is just crumbling down on me, leaving me breathless and making my heart beat faster.
I am trying to stay away from the news. I am focusing on things that matter — our health, our daily routines, my work and several other distractions that I can come up with.
I have folded the laundry. I wiped the kitchen counter — several times today. I wiped all surfaces clean already previously, so I am wandering around endlessly.
My productivity fluctuates between working like crazy and finishing tasks in a quarter of the time — having super focus and churning out pages of writing. And then I find myself just staring blankly and long minutes pass without registering anything from the external world. Only my tears. Only my frustration…
