Missing My Kids Feels a Little Too Good

Even the best parents need a break from it all

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

I took a part-time position in another city, in another country. Living in Europe, where the sense of distance is different, it means nothing major: only a three-hour train ride from home, but it means that I am spending one night away — every week. I leave early in the morning on Tuesdays, spend my whole day working, stay a night and then on Wednesdays I head back. It also gives me a feeling of travelling — and I love that. Train rides, music, writing — what’s not to love?

I woke up one Wednesday morning, alone in a comfortable yet impersonal hotel room with washed-out pastel colours, everything is toned down and way too tidy and sterile…. with a balcony that looks at the railway station… I felt like in a movie. I made myself a coffee, wandered around in the room, had a long hot shower, got dressed… and a strange feeling hit me, it’s just way too silent, it’s way too peaceful… and then:

I miss my kids.

And another feeling came in rapid succession… I like this feeling — a little too much.

Then guilt arrived, of course, when I started to feel good about not having my kids prancing around when I am trying to sip my coffee or trying to spend 17 seconds alone — in the bathroom.