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Should a Good Girl Still Want Sex?
How sexual abuse can distort female self-worth
The nastiest of abuse is when you’re stripped from your own femininity; when the very thing that makes you a woman is used against you; when you are promised safety and suddenly you’re in for a blow.
Abuse is never pretty. It is about ignoring the humanity of the other, degrading them into an object to be toyed with, kicked around and thrown away when it gets boring.
If your date calls you a slut you don’t ever see him again. If your boyfriend rapes you in the first month you don’t stay with him, you go to the police and report him. If your partner of two or twenty years calls you a slut… or assaults you… what do you do?
Abuse doesn’t start as direct insults or sexual assaults. It gets there slowly… almost unnoticeable, so subtle that it’s hard to see how burning red the flags are. Until all you see is the red flags enveloping you and suffocating you, never letting you go.
We were two consenting adults having sex. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We were both adults, we wanted each other, there were no obstacles.
We experimented. We talked dirty. We did role-plays.
He called me ‘good girl’.
