The 5 Most Annoying Double Standards Between Single and Partnered People

Being single is not inferior to being partnered

Zita Fontaine

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Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

I have been single for the past few years with occasional dating experiences. I haven’t yet gotten to a point with any of my dating activities to call it a relationship or to be committed enough not to label myself single.

It has its perks, I have to admit, but there are more downsides to it than I would have imagined.

For starters, I am not the happy-being-single type, but it doesn’t mean that I am continuously unhappy. Yet, when it comes to socialising, talking to friends and family, eventually we will end up having a conversation about why I am still single. And while there is no problem with asking why I am single, the word ‘still’ puts pressure on me — even if it’s uttered without an iota of bad intention.

I noticed that there are huge double standards when it comes to judging single people as if somehow we were different, and in some cases inferior to those who are partnered.

Your level of independence

When you are in a relationship and you demand your me-time from your partner, it is a sign of maturity and it is a good indicator of the relationship. It means that you are not codependent and your attachment style is healthy, too.

If you are independent and single, you must be too independent. You must be too selfish and too self-reliant, and this character trait must be the reason for you being single.

Your level of independence or strength doesn’t indicate your ability or inability to thrive within a relationship and it’s not a character flaw outside of it. It simply means that you are self-aware and mature and these traits are needed both in and out of a relationship.

The relation of happiness and relationship status

There is a concept that being in a relationship automatically means that you are happy while not being in one means that you are unhappy. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

It is true that we are social beings and we need human connection to be at our best, but not all relationships help us to…

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Zita Fontaine

Writer. Dreamer. Hopeless romantic. Newsletter: zita.substack.com Email me: zitafontaine (at) gmail