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The Calculated Lies of a Narcissist
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, lies and manipulation in a relationship
I have always been very bad at lying. Even from an early age lying seemed to me as extremely bad behaviour. I was honest to a fault, not even managing to tell white lies or omitting the truth. When my mum asked me after school how it was, I felt the obligation to tell her everything. She wanted to know about the quality of school lunch and I jumped into confession mode about all my questionable behaviours, such as not paying attention at class, or being ridiculed or being late from class. Everything. She would have never known. And she never cared. But I couldn’t not tell her. She asked I had to answer.
I am an Empath, and although I grew up, and I don’t find it that troubling to tell white lies or to omit unnecessary elements of the truth at this point, I still find that telling the truth is what matches my personality more than lying about it.
I have the capacity to tell lies, but I value honesty and decency a lot more. The sense of guilt that I can feel is far worse than the truth, so I am investing in telling the truth — to have peace of mind, to be able to sleep, and not to guilt trip myself about betraying others.
