Member-only story
The Mantra That Turned My Dating Life Around
Remember, the reason you’re doing this is to make your life better or why you should look for green flags
I spent the last five years single after my abusive ex left us with our daughter, who was just 1 at the time. As the relationship was a rollercoaster ride that would eventually crash to the ground, in the first years I did nothing but survive. I was busy picking up the shattered pieces of my completely ruined life, keeping sane, raising my baby daughter along with her two older sisters, and working my ass off to be able to provide for the family.
The tumultuous relationship was difficult with more lows than highs, but the period that followed was just way too much to handle. I was barely afloat. I was in such a deep hole, physically, mentally and financially that the mere survival was a wonder. Obviously, I didn’t have dating on my mind. I wasn’t a woman, I was a shell of myself, broken, disturbed, damaged, terrified and distrusting. All for a good reason. And none of it made sense.
I had to rebuild it all. Not even from scratch. The wounds I had went far deeper and I had to piece myself together in a way that I don’t re-use the broken pieces but rebuild them, regrow them, reinvent them. The healing process was just like grief. Nothing linear…
