Member-only story
When Life Starts to Flow Backwards
I am GenX by definition, I am acting as a Millennial, but feeling like GenZ.
I am living my life backwards, or at least in a distorted and unusual chronology that doesn’t make sense if I look at it from the outside with my rational brain. And I am not sure if I made a mistake in my early twenties or I am making a mistake now, but it feels I was out of place both then and now.
From a very early age, I always knew what I wanted to do. I was the kind of kid who was driven enough to do the homework first and only then think about playing and having fun. I was adamant about my choice of high-school, I chose the one I went to because I decided I wanted to learn Latin. I knew what career I wanted to pursue, I chose my university accordingly, I worked my way into my dream-job at 21. I was good at it, then became great at it. Picture perfect.
I knew I wanted to get married, I knew I wanted to have at least two kids. When I met my husband-to-be I knew he was the kind of man who you could have stability and family with. I didn’t have too many relationships before him, I didn’t know what I wanted to feel, how I wanted him to make me feel — and I settled, with real commitment, without real love.
