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Why Do We Stay In Toxic Relationships?
The reason behind our seemingly irrational decisions
Now that I am out of my toxic and abusive relationship, I know I stayed for too long. It took me a long time to admit this. Because I’m such a grounded, down-to-earth person, and it all seems so irrational.
It was bad — not just occasionally, consistently. But I stayed. I looked the other way when the red flags started to appear — repeatedly; I ignored the helping suggestions of my friends and family who saw it earlier and clearer what was going wrong; I wanted to see something else than the reality. I was in denial about the toxicity but I was also manipulated.
When I was asked why I stayed so long, I found it very offensive — as if people just refused to understand that it wasn’t my fault. I heard victim-blaming enough times to recognise it from a mile away, and no matter how I fought it, the comments never stopped.
It is difficult to understand from the outside why someone would stay in a relationship when it’s abusive or toxic. From an external point of view, unhealthy signs are easier to notice, but there are some very rational explanations that can only be understood from the inside. Call it love, call it fear, call it obscured vision — it could be a lot of things. It usually doesn’t come from a place of…
